When we discuss the topic about society’s pressure for success, we tend to focus on an individual’s own success. What we do not realize is that people do not only feel the pressure to be successful themselves, they also feel the pressure to have successful children as well. Success is no longer just a goal for oneself. Because one’s children represent one’s genes and/or one’s parenting skill, success has also become a goal for one’s children as well.
If a parent has a very successful career but his/her children fail to also have a successful career as well, he/she is deemed as a bad parent because he/she fails to make use of the resources he/she has in order to guide his/her children down the same path to success. Even if a parent does not have a successful career, he/she is also deemed as a bad parent because he/she lacks the capability to provide the means necessary in order for his/her children to succeed. Society holds the parents responsible for the outcome of their children’s success. If the parents do not have children who are genetically destined for success (for example, let’s just bluntly say that the child is academically stupid), the parents must provide an enhancing environment that would lead their children down the path towards success (such as enrolling them in a good school, helping them with homework, getting them a tutor, etc.). When a parent fails to have successful children, he/she is regarded as a bad parent.
Parents feel intense pressure from society to have successful children. This pressure to be regarded as a good parent, or to not be regarded as a bad parent, causes them to do whatever it takes to make sure their children succeed. They make sure their children study, complete their homework, take college prep classes, participate in extracurricular activities, etc. Parents believe that they must push their children to do all these stuff in order for their children to become successful. What they do not realize is that they are now putting pressure on their children to succeed. They put pressure on their children to do well in school, get accepted to top colleges, have a great career, etc. Although this can be a motivating factor for the children to do well in school (which obviously is not a bad thing), it can also be a stressor that makes them feel like they must live up to society’s standards in order to be good enough.
Parents who have gotten used to the opportunities to succeed may take it for granted. They no longer see success as a great opportunity for their children, but more as an expectation that their children have to fulfill. Parents who have not had the opportunities to succeed may feel the need to prove to society that their children can be just as successful too. Because of this, the children feel the pressure to succeed, not for themselves but for their parents and society’s expectations of what they should do and what they should become.
As a parent of 3, this is something I think about a lot. It's easy to get too wrapped up though. Here's a humorous take on parenting.
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